The Four Types Of Parenting Styles Explained: Choosing The Best Approach For Your Child

Parenting is a challenging job, as there is no perfect guide to it, and kids never come with a manual. However, as caregivers, it becomes your responsibility to polish essential developmental skills and prepare them to face the real world.

Types of Parenting Styles

Let us assume a simple scenario about homework completion of four kids with four parenting methods.

Which one do you think is one of the most effective parenting styles?

Well, in this scenario, the most effective parenting methods seem to be A and B. 

However, there are four different types of parenting styles, and all prove beneficial in different situations.

In the above case, A is an authoritative parenting method, B is authoritarian, C is indulgent, and D is a passive type of parenting style. Let us understand each of these in detail.

1. Indulgent Parenting Style - The Easygoing Embrace

This type of parenting method is considered equivalent to friendship, where the parents prioritize love, freedom, and the child’s happiness over everything else. 

Such parenting involves kids’ doing whatever they desire without much reinforcement about rules or discipline for them.

Characteristics Of Indulgent Parenting

• Parents have low expectations and shower the kids with high emotional support, attention, and material rewards.

• They provide minimum restrictions to let the kids explore their own decisions.

• Children’s needs, desires, and preferences are given more importance over establishing healthy boundaries for their long-term development.

• Parents always tend to heed children’s desires to avoid conflict.

Impact On Child Development

Since the parents in this style act like child-pleasers, they shower them with overflowing love, compassion, and care.

This makes the children of indulgent parents incapable of self-regulating rejection due to their habit of receiving everything they desire. As a result, it could make them picky eaters, adamant, and inflexible to other’s opinions at the cost of their own.

Also, their habit of enjoying a sense of freedom hampers their decision-making skills as they fail to prioritize important tasks over pleasurable ones. Sometimes, this also causes a lack of sense of boundaries in them, which ultimately also hampers their growth and behavioral skills.

Example

A child who has always been entertained by their wishes and wants at home would never be able to have a growth mindset or the ability to take criticism and/or face rejection. 

This could, in turn, impact their development and social relationships with teachers, classmates, parents, friends, etc.

Perks

• The parent-child bond is strong because parents behave like friends and not mentors.

• Kids’ fulfilled emotional validation due to their parent’s unconditional love enhances their independence, self-confidence, and social skills.

• With almost no restrictions, these children feel free to explore the world around them, which enhances their creativity, curiosity, and imagination.

• They also have high emotional intelligence because of their nurturing and loving environment. This further helps them assess, identify, and manage their emotions easily.

Downsides 

• Children are unable to self-regulate their frustration, disappointment, or delayed gratification because of their habit of instant gratification by their parents.

• They lack discipline, which might further enable them to resist an authoritative statement in schools, at home, or in other social situations.

• These kids develop a sense of entitlement due to their neverending fulfillment of wishes by their parents. This might hinder their ability to understand boundaries, which could further lead to unrealistic expectations.

• They lack social skills and teamwork because of their inability to resolve conflicts, as they never get an opportunity to resolve one.

• They lack essential life skills like efficient time management, responsibility, accountability, etc., which further makes them unprepared and dependent in the long run.

2. Authoritative Parenting Style: The Rational Dictator

This is considered to be one of the most efficient of all four types of parenting styles, owing to the parents’ effortless balance of discipline and love.

Here, parents tend to shower their kids with infinite love and compassion, fulfill their wishes, and place important and firm boundaries for the kids’ essential development.

Characteristics Of Authoritative Parenting

• The clear communication of assertion of rules with reasons enables the kids to follow them without rebellion.

• The kids tend to be balanced emotionally and mentally due to parents' balanced expectations, high emotional support, and firm boundaries. 

• These parents balance guidance with freedom of decision-making, which enables the kids to learn from their own mistakes which also makes them independent and prepared for the future.

Impact On Child Development

Authoritative parents are warm, firm, and reason-orientated. They tend to emphasize open and two-way communication, which enables the children to explore their curiosity to the fullest scale.

The parents’ good listening ability also places the kids in a growth motion where they turn out to be highly independent, smart, flexible, empathetic, and rational.

Also, the freedom to openly express themselves encourages children to have a stable mind with high emotional intelligence. This further motivates them towards excellent academic performance and increased social competence, which also increases their self-confidence.

Strong moral support from parents, along with endless love and affection, also motivates the children to have good problem-solving, decision-making, and teamwork skills.

Example

Children who have always been given an open platform to express their feelings at home are always socially smarter than the ones who are not. This is because their curiosity is tamed by reasoning from their parents.

Perks

• These children have high emotional intelligence and understand the perfect balance of love and discipline.

• Parents’ habit of placing rules with reasoning encourages children to become rational. It further also helps in developing their critical-thinking skills.

• The perfect balance of guidance with the autonomy of decision-making helps the kids learn from their mistakes. Spoon feeding is not in the dictionary!

• Children’s awakened curiosity with provided space and opportunity to explore fosters children’s mental peace. This further encourages them to have good personal and professional relationships in the future.

Downsides

• Children require consistency to understand their boundaries. This balanced approach could be challenging to maintain due to many external or internal factors that could cause parental burnout.

• The intense emphasis on reasoning might also push children towards overthinking. This could disrupt the kids’ mental peace, if not channeled efficiently.

• The cultivated independence in the kids could sometimes lead to a power struggle between parent and child. Sometimes, this might hamper parental autonomy.

• Some traditional families with assertive parenting do not approve of children’s autonomy in their life’s decisions.

3. Passive Parenting Style- The “Let It Slide” Strategy

In this method of parenting, the parents are usually very easygoing and lack the placement of boundaries, structure, or discipline for their children.

These parents tend to offer immense freedom to their kids without the necessary support and guidance. This could further lead to more harm than good due to children’s inability to tackle life challenges efficiently.

Characteristics Of Passive Parenting

• Children’s inability to understand boundaries, rules, and discipline.

• Parents’ tendency to fulfill their kids’ wishes despite the consequences enforces poor self-regulation of emotions in the kids.

• Children's lack of emotional support and guidance from their parents could further make them attention seekers and bad decision-makers.

Impact On Child Development

Passive parents struggle with forming or sustaining a healthy and structured environment for their kids’ growth, which hinders their essential life skills development.

These kids also lack self-regulation of their emotions because of a lack of emotional validity from their parents. This sometimes might also hamper their self-esteem and independence.

Parents’ little to no involvement in their kids’ development could also make it challenging for them to behave appropriately in various social situations.

Children’s inability to process their priorities also leads to their poor academic performance, risk-taking behaviors, substance indulgence, lack of respect for others, etc.

Example

A child who has never been monitored about their whereabouts, time to come home, homework exam status, etc., would end up facing personal and professional challenges in the future due to a lack of time management and respect.

Perks

• Passive parents try to avoid conflicts, which reduces frequent outbursts between the parent and child. This promotes a peaceful environment.

• Low expectations and the freedom to explore their interests encourage children’s creative and imaginative skills.

• The lack of judgment or restrictions sometimes enables a strong parent-child relationship.

Downsides

• Lack of beneficial guidance from the parents hampers kids’ ability to develop essential life skills. This could further hamper their self-confidence, independence, good decision-making, and social skills in the future.

• The inability to self-regulate might sometimes lead to anxiety, frustration, or depression in children. These children have a high tendency to face behavioral issues in the future.

• Parents’ little attention encourages the children to pursue short-term pleasures over long-term gains, which could lead to poor self-control. This might impact their academic performance.

• Lack of responsibility and accountability and risk of entitlement due to no restrictions could lead to difficulties in handling various challenges.

• Parents' inability to guide their children might also lead to parental burnout.

4. Authoritarian Parenting Style: The Control-First Approach

This style of parenting lays more emphasis on discipline, rules, and obedience over children’s happiness.

Authoritarian parents demand respect and clear boundaries, even at the expense of emotional fulfillment

Characteristics Of Authoritarian Parenting

• Children are often timid due to high expectations, rigid rules, and no room for discussion.

• Lack of warmth and love makes the parent-child bond emotionally distant.

• Parents’ tendency to correct their children’s mistakes through punishment without two-way communication. This enables children to believe that the command of decision-making will always have a top-down approach.

• Parents’ lack of flexibility in decision-making impacts kids’ self-confidence.

Impact On Child Development

Children of authoritarian parents tend to lack emotional regulation due to little to no emotional support. This further hampers open communication and increases expectations of high obedience.

The parent's demand of the child to be submissive hampers the kid’s optimum growth and development in essential life skills. It further also causes low self-confidence in them.

Children’s inability to explore and communicate openly with their parents increases their rebellious nature as they grow. This could also lead to excess anxiety, frustration, or depression.

Also, due to parents’ constant rules, regulations, and restrictions, these kids face challenges in opening up in many social situations, which could also lead to poor relationships in the future.

Since these kids are constantly told what, when, and how to do a certain thing, they lack self-regulation, decision-making, and critical thinking skills. This could also affect their self-confidence and independence in the long run.

This kind of parenting is mostly beneficial for kids with autism, ADHD, or any other neurological dysfunction. This is because they do require stern directions for their development.

Example

A child who has a strict rule to finish the homework by 6 PM, would heed it to avoid conflict. Such blind compliance tames the children to become good followers and not leaders.

Perks

• The kids have a high understanding of rules, boundaries, and discipline. This also makes them respect authority and develop a strong ethic.

• Parents’ high expectations, firm rules, and little emotional support encourage the children to seek constant approval. The kids might therefore push themselves harder to excel at many things in life.

Downsides

• The lack of emotional vulnerability might affect the parent-child bond in the long run.

• Due to their restrictive curiosity and understanding, these children lack efficient decision-making skills. They would always seek someone’s assistance.

• The high fear of failure pushes children to overexert themselves, even at the cost of their health.

• Children brought up under this parenting style face a lot of social and relationship challenges.

Comparative Analysis Of Parenting Styles

Let us now understand the difference between all four types of parenting styles to help you assess the right kind of parenting.

Choosing The Right Parenting Style For Your Family

Now let us discuss the factors to assess the choice of parenting style for your children. 

1. It is very important to understand the temperament of your children before placing them under a parenting style. 

Example: Some children with high emotional sensitivity require either indulgent or authoritative parenting.

2. Parents’ values and beliefs also influence them to rear their children with similar or slightly different approaches. 

Example: Parents who value discipline and obedience over anything else would always opt for an authoritarian type of parenting method over others.

3. Sometimes the type of parenting is also influenced by the family type, that is, either joint or nuclear. 

Example: A nuclear family might find it challenging to implement an authoritative style due to a busy lifestyle. But, with a joint family, comprising many members, it becomes easier to maintain consistency with this parenting method.

4. The relationship between the parents and the children also impacts the parenting style. 

Example: A friendly relationship would encourage authoritative or indulgent parenting. On the other hand, children with behavioral issues require authoritarian parenting to make them self-realize the repercussions of breaking the rules.

Cultural influences in India

Due to a rich cultural influence in the country, there are also various cultural aspects in play to identify the efficient types of parenting styles in India. 

One of the most common ones is the universal respect for elders in the family, which establishes an authoritative or an authoritarian type of parenting. 

This is mostly the case in families comprising either just grandparents or a joint family. The children brought up in this environment also tend to have a strong moral compass.

Also, sometimes, the parenting style might differ based on gender. For example, the daughters of the family might be reared with authoritarian commands, while the son, on the other hand, might be reared either with an indulgent or a passive type of parenting style.

Tips For Implementing Effective Parenting Strategies

Although the parenting methods might differ, various tips that could enhance the parent-child bond and also sustain good parenting include:

1. Tip 1: Establish a firm balance between rules, boundaries, and emotional support.

Reward: Children will always trust and approach you unhesitatingly in times of need.

2. Tip 2: Always encourage open communication with your kids, along with proper reasoning. 

Reward: This helps them satisfy their curiosity about your rejections or acceptance. 

3. Tip 3: Be flexible in adapting to different parenting methods with children’s age, temperament, and stage of development.

Reward: It would help in preventing parental burnout and frustration in children.

4. Tip 4: Always ensure you have realistic expectations and use positive criticism or reinforcements.

Reward: It encourages them to make and improve their mistakes and also builds their self-esteem.

5. Tip 5: Be an example for them.

Reward: It would help in their quick adaptation because the kids learn what they see over what they are told.

Conclusion

Parenting is certainly a challenging job that requires constant attention, love, affection, care, discipline, and respect. As parents, it is your responsibility to opt for the right kind of parenting for your child’s essential growth and development.

However, although authoritative parenting is considered the best, it is advisable to remain flexible in your approach by monitoring your child’s behavior and circumstances. 

All you can do is just read the unsaid cues of your children and play with positive parenting strategies for their development. After all, who knows if you come out with an effective and customized parenting method?

Lastly, remember, there is neither a perfect parenting style nor perfect parents!

Also Read:

1. What is Positive Parenting? A Nurturing Guide for Your Child

2. 10 Parenting Tips For Raising Responsible Citizens

3. How to Love Your Child Without Spoiling?

4. Essential Tips for Early Childhood Development

5. 15 Tips on How to Handle and Smartly Control Hyperactive Children?